Looking At Porn Together – The Subject, Not The Pictures

In 1953 the first Playboy magazine appeared. The baby-boomer at the time would have been seven years old. The magazine and many other pornographic magazines have gained popularity in much of our society in the past six decades. They can be easily found along our interstate highways in most of the cities and adult bookstores. Playboy magazine today reflects some of the Street’s mildest porn. Many print magazines and online media graphically portray men and women engaging in sexual activities of all kinds-heterosexual, homosexual, and even intercourse with children and animals. Have a look at Young Devotion Parkplatz.

In addition to this print genre’s increasing prevalence, in recent decades, filmmakers have increased the nudity and explicit sex scenes in their work. So today many of us are going to R-rated films with free, explicit sex scenes and embracing it as standard adult entertainment. In addition to the fairly tame stuff you might see in the cinema, a multitude of X-rated videos and DVD’s are being created and made available for sale or rent around our world.

Now, perhaps you don’t struggle to get or look at pornographic material with the temptations. Maybe you’d never have any of that in your house-intentionally. But if you’ve got a machine in your house, at least you’ve got the porn opportunity at house. While porn may have little or no capacity to lure you, it may not be valid in your home for all.

When I work with adult men who struggle with porn or other issues of sexual-sin, they usually tell me about first seeing porn back at high school, junior high, and even in elementary school. A dad or big brother of a friend may have had a stash of magazines or videos that would always be discussed after school, before any adults might come home. Often it was the stash of their own father, or of their own older brother. And the cache wasn’t really covered, sometimes. The average age of a boy’s first exposure to porn today is 11 according to safefamilies.org. That’s the median age. That means that many boys are introduced even earlier than 11 into that shameful world.

The invention of floppy disks, CDs, DVDs, and flash drives has made porn private and portable. Your teen could carry in his pocket or backpack about the equivalent of a stack of smut magazines. The proliferation of youth-possessed smartphones in recent years is putting all kinds of pornographic content at hand. Such issues are temptations that make many young people appear too cool to avoid.

Pornography is a formidable problem. This is probably a bigger issue than you know.

Dr Mark Laaser is a known sexual addictions specialist. I recently listened to Dr.Laaser’s interview, in which he dealt with the topic of porn addiction. He described three “A’s” in the discussion that are escalating the addictive potential of porn among males. They are: anonymity, transparency, and affordability. Pornography is very available, especially via Internet access. It is not only readily available, it can be accessed with total anonymity. It can easily be hidden, kept for years as an elusive secret of one’s existence. Last but not least, it’s very inexpensive, even free through many Internet outlets.

Of course we can all understand how enticing sexual images are to the male eye. When we attach the simple accessibility of our world to this natural cause, the opportunity to access porn without anyone realizing it and the little or no expense involved, we can see how many people would quickly get hooked on porn. The natural titillation and simple accessibility of the erotic pictures is just part of the story.

Often it ignores another big explanation why porn is so overwhelmingly attractive to males. Here’s it: Porn doesn’t bear a man’s emotional load. The women who excite a man with their sexy pictures have no standards about relationships. It doesn’t matter whether he’s coming home on time, or at all. For days, weeks, months, he can leave her in that hidden place; and when he eventually comes to see her again, she is as happy to be amused as when they first met. When he stares at other women she doesn’t care; she simply expects it. She doesn’t deserve to be heard, sponsored or in any way pleased. She is very pleased to be contributing to his happiness. This is what I mean by “no emotional load.” Many men think this is very desirable.

Nevertheless, a relationship with a real person carries a major relative load. A woman has her own desires, her own needs. And much of this is not of a sexual nature. A healthy woman doesn’t only want to be used as an object of sexual lust; she wants to be cherished, treasured. She needs a partner for life, and not just a partner for sex. If she isn’t treated with kindness and consideration, she’ll have trouble in any way connected to her man. She has aspirations (realistic or unrealistic); and she is not satisfied when these are unmet. Again, this is what I mean by a load on the connection. And that load is a powerful incentive for many people to ignore the real woman and indulge in porn.